Selected Clips

The Economic Value of This Article Is Dependent on Peri Gilpin’s Retweeting It (The New Yorker)
Nine Times I Got Excited Because I Thought I Saw a Dog, But It Was Actually Something Else—Ranked by How Disappointed I Felt (The New Yorker)
After Vacationing for a Week in Portland, I Really Feel That I Cannot Live Anywhere (The New Yorker)
Memories of My First Baseball Game (The New Yorker)
How to Get the Exact Amount of Cream Cheese You Want on Your Bagel (The New Yorker)
Why We Love the New New Normal (The New Yorker)
Sounds of the Eighties (The New Yorker)
If Democrats Want to Win in 2022, They Must Focus on Weezer: An Op-Ed by the President of the Weezer Appreciation Society (The New Yorker)
Suggested Revisions to Etiquette (The New Yorker)
Only Nineties Kids Will Remember the Way Things Used to Be (The New Yorker)
The First Rule of Comedy (251)
Science Says This is the Right Way for You to Bring Me a Whole Pizza Immediately (The American Bystander)
It’s Hard to Make Friends as an Adult, Because You’re Not Allowed to Go Anywhere or Do Anything (The American Bystander)
The Top Ten Hottest Coffee Roasts (The New Yorker)
New Tools from the Society of Advanced Baseball Philosophy (The New Yorker)
The Craziest Lost Sitcom Episodes of All Time (The New Yorker)
Introducing Total Crap, the First Magazine Written Entirely by AI (McSweeney’s)
Ted Lasso Is a Shining Example of Kindness and Decency, and Critics Who Disagree Should Burn in Hell Forever (McSweeney’s)
An Oral History of the Interstitial Ska Music on Friends (McSweeney’s)
Quiz: Janet’s Father Has Died. Can You Make This About You? (McSweeney’s)
My Biggest Regrets About Retiring at 24 (McSweeney’s)
You Had Mail (McSweeney’s)
How to Handle Anxiety About the Toxic Sludge Filling Your Bedroom (McSweeney’s)
It’s Time For Straight White Men to Stop Dominating the Late-Night Television Landscape, As Soon As I’m Done Hosting The Tonight Show for 30 Years (McSweeney’s)
11 Things You Definitely Don’t Know About Nirvana, You Idiot (McSweeney’s)
Updated Sinclair Broadcast Group Anchor Script (McSweeney’s)
The Harrowing, True Story of When I Lost My Wallet at the Farmer’s Market (Splitsider)

This Post is Clearly Labeled Satire (McSweeney’s)
Department of Nihilism Study Finds That Nothing Matters Anyway (National Lampoon)
11 Things You Definitely Don’t Know About Friends, You Idiot (McSweeney’s)
Doomsday Preppers Ready for Fourth Wave of Ska (The Hard Times)
How Bojack Horseman Changed Television: Every Character is Now a Horse (Weekly Humorist)
9 Great Urinal Conversation Topics (National Lampoon)
The 10 Best Sneezes of 2016 (Splitsider)
Steven’s March on Washington Highlights Issues of Importance to Steven (National Lampoon)
11 Amazing Last-Minute Tax Hacks (National Lampoon)
Incredible Football Facts! (National Lampoon)
Proactiv Introduces Humbling Cream, Which Gives Pimples to Cool Kids (National Lampoon)

Sports Reporting
Meet the Replace-Mets (Sports on Earth)
On This Day, Five Pitches and You’re Done (New York Times)
Los Angeles’ Forgotten Jewish Soccer Dynasty (Vice Sports)
The Swingin’ (18)60s Live In Brooklyn (Sports on Earth)
Dontrelle Willis Makes a Stop on Long Island, Hoping for a Return to the Show (Sports Illustrated)
Will Chelsea Baker Be the First Girl in Major League Baseball? (Teen Vogue)
Is This Man the Next R.A. Dickey? Meet Steven Wright (Baseball Prospectus)
After Storm, Wagner Football Quickly Regains Footing (New York Times)
Odd Ball: The Weirdest Sports in New York City (
Are You Ready for Some (Women’s) Football? (New York)
A Chat with the Mets’ Mike Baxter, Stuck in Traffic on the Way to the Ballpark (New York)
Stony Brook Arrives, Marching Band and All (New York Times)
Profile of the Brooklyn Cyclones’ Brandon Nimmo (
R.A. Dickey on Embracing the Knuckleball and Preparing to Climb Mount Kilimanjaro (New York)

Entertainment Reporting
Chris Gethard Talks NYC Comedy (
Interview with Chris Ballew of the Presidents of the United States of America (Noisey/Vice)
Brooklyn’s Leading Punk (Jeff Rosenstock) Is Ready to Settle Down (New York Observer)
In Honor of Seinfeld’s 30th Anniversary, We Visited Tom’s Restaurant (
Interview with Kal Penn (
15 New Yorkiest Episodes of Seinfeld (
How to Eat a Slice of New York City Pizza (
Interview with Norm Macdonald (
Interview with Rivers Cuomo of Weezer (Vulture)
Interview with Matt Embree of Rx Bandits (Noisey/Vice)
20 Great Forgotten Billy Joel Songs That Haven’t Been Played to Death (Vulture)
Four Things We Learned at Last Night’s Billy Joel Concert (Gothamist)
Bagelology: A Scientific Investigation of NYC Bagels (
Interview with Bob Odenkirk and David Cross of Mr. Show (Details)
Profile of The Hives (Paper)
A Day on the Town with Andrew W.K. (
Interview with Chris Barron of the Spin Doctors (Vulture)
Interview with Ben Folds (Paper)


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