Selected Clips

Nine Times I Got Excited Because I Thought I Saw a Dog, But It Was Actually Something Else—Ranked by How Disappointed I Felt (The New Yorker)
New Tools from the Society of Advanced Baseball Philosophy (The New Yorker)
How to Get the Exact Amount of Cream Cheese You Want on Your Bagel (The New Yorker)
The Craziest Lost Sitcom Episodes of All Time (The New Yorker)
Quiz: Janet’s Father Has Died. Can You Make This About You? (McSweeney’s)
You Had Mail (McSweeney’s)
How to Handle Anxiety About the Toxic Sludge Filling Your Bedroom (McSweeney’s)
It’s Time For Straight White Men to Stop Dominating the Late-Night Television Landscape, As Soon As I’m Done Hosting The Tonight Show for 30 Years (McSweeney’s)
11 Things You Definitely Don’t Know About Nirvana, You Idiot (McSweeney’s)
Updated Sinclair Broadcast Group Anchor Script (McSweeney’s)
The Best Jokes By Elon Musk’s Secret New Joke-Writing Robot About Elon Musk’s Secret New Joke-Writing Robot (Weekly Humorist)
The Harrowing, True Story of When I Lost My Wallet at the Farmer’s Market (Splitsider)

This Post is Clearly Labeled Satire (McSweeney’s)
Department of Nihilism Study Finds That Nothing Matters Anyway (National Lampoon)
11 Things You Definitely Don’t Know About Friends, You Idiot (McSweeney’s)
Doomsday Preppers Ready for Fourth Wave of Ska (The Hard Times)
How Bojack Horseman Changed Television: Every Character is Now a Horse (Weekly Humorist)
9 Great Urinal Conversation Topics (National Lampoon)
The 10 Best Sneezes of 2016 (Splitsider)
Steven’s March on Washington Highlights Issues of Importance to Steven (National Lampoon)
11 Amazing Last-Minute Tax Hacks (National Lampoon)
Incredible Football Facts! (National Lampoon)
Speeding Up Baseball: Additional Ideas (The Classical)
Proactiv Introduces Humbling Cream, Which Gives Pimples to Cool Kids (National Lampoon)

Sports Reporting
Meet the Replace-Mets (Sports on Earth)
On This Day, Five Pitches and You’re Done (New York Times)
Los Angeles’ Forgotten Jewish Soccer Dynasty (Vice Sports)
The Swingin’ (18)60s Live In Brooklyn (Sports on Earth)
Dontrelle Willis Makes a Stop on Long Island, Hoping for a Return to the Show (Sports Illustrated)
Will Chelsea Baker Be the First Girl in Major League Baseball? (Teen Vogue)
Is This Man the Next R.A. Dickey? Meet Steven Wright (Baseball Prospectus)
After Storm, Wagner Football Quickly Regains Footing (New York Times)
Twisted: Competitive Yoga in Times Square (New York)
Odd Ball: The Weirdest Sports in New York City (
Are You Ready for Some (Women’s) Football? (New York)
A Chat with the Mets’ Mike Baxter, Stuck in Traffic on the Way to the Ballpark (New York)
Stony Brook Arrives, Marching Band and All (New York Times)
Profile of the Brooklyn Cyclones’ Brandon Nimmo (
R.A. Dickey on Embracing the Knuckleball and Preparing to Climb Mount Kilimanjaro (New York)

Entertainment Reporting
Chris Gethard Talks NYC Comedy (
Brooklyn’s Leading Punk (Jeff Rosenstock) Is Ready to Settle Down (New York Observer)
20 Great Forgotten Billy Joel Songs That Haven’t Been Played to Death (Vulture)
15 New Yorkiest Episodes of Seinfeld (
How to Eat a Slice of New York City Pizza (
Interview with Chris Ballew of the Presidents of the United States of America (Noisey/Vice)
Four Things We Learned at Last Night’s Billy Joel Concert (Gothamist)
Interview with Norm Macdonald (
Interview with Rivers Cuomo of Weezer (Vulture)
Interview with Matt Embree of Rx Bandits (Noisey/Vice)
Bagelology: A Scientific Investigation of NYC Bagels (
Interview with Bob Odenkirk and David Cross of Mr. Show (Details)
Profile of The Hives (Paper)
A Day on the Town with Andrew W.K. (
Interview with Chris Barron of the Spin Doctors (Vulture)
Interview with Ben Folds (Paper)
Interview with Phoenix (